by Bro. Philip Louie Sy
Malachi 4:6 says 6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers”
This is the main objective of the creators of the ICAN Fathering Workshop which Bro. Edwin Choy, proponent of Centre for Fathering in Singapore, shared with the JECPP pastors and leaders last June 28. 18 delegates from Luzon, Western Visayas, Central and Eastern Visayas, Southern Mindanao and Northern Mindanao regions gathered together in EFC-Cagayan De Oro to attend this fathering workshop. The speaker, Bro. Edwin Choy, shared that he trained under Dr. Ken Canfield, author of several books on Fathering, in the US before he was able to initiate the work for Centre for Fathering in Singapore in the year 2000. He along with 2 other friends started this non-profit organization to promote active and involved fathering and address the issues caused by fatherlessness in their country. Twenty-three years later they are already widely-acknowledged in Singapore, with partnership with the Ministry of Social and Family Life and has presence in a number of countries in Asia.
The day began with Praise and Worship and an Opening Prayer led by Pastor Jefferson Ouano. The workshop started with an introduction of the organization behind it and quickly moved forward to an interactive discussion between the facilitator and the participants about fatherhood. In the morning session, the facilitator discussed about the effects of fatherlessness in children and in the society as a whole. Through a series of small group discussions, the participants were led to look back into the style of fathering they received from their own fathers, then moved towards the impact of fatherhood and the importance of reconciliation in a father-child relationship. The morning session ended with the participants answering a prepared questionnaire for them to assess their own Fathering Profile.
After a hefty lunch, the afternoon session started. The facilitator discussed about the four overarching principles of fatherhood namely: Involvement, Consistency, Awareness and Nurturance. The group proceeded by tackling each of these 4 principles one by one through small group discussions followed by self-assessment and creating an action plan for each of the principles. The afternoon Session ended with each father writing down a Final Action Plan on a piece of paper. They were then instructed to fold the paper into a paper plane, form a circle amongst themselves, and launch the plane so that another father within the circle will get the plane with their action plan. They are then instructed to use the information written on the paper to update each other in the future about their progress in their action plan, creating mutual accountability amongst the participants.
The father/participants left the workshop filling enriched and empowered with a new resolve to be Godly fathers and make a difference in their own households.
June 29 marked the start of the ICAN TTT (Training The Trainer). After experiencing the ICAN Fathering Workshop the previous day, 13 participants were left to be trained By Bro. Edwin Choy to be future ICAN Workshop facilitators. The day started with a word of prayer thanking God for the opportunity He gave JECPP to take part in this activity and have its leaders to be trained so that we can promote Godly Fathering within our churches and beyond.
The training started with Bro. Edwin Choy explaining the role that a facilitator needs to fulfill during an ICAN Fathering Workshop, explaining that a facilitator does not have all the answers but encourages the participants to learn from his own realizations and from other participants as well in the course of the workshop. He went over the whole Workshop explaining to the future facilitators the purpose of each topic and what to emphasize during their future workshops. After which, he pointed out the importance of developing the skill of drawing answers and participation from the participants. He also taught the future facilitators the art of encouraging and affirming answers from the participants and incorporating it in the workshop. Before lunch break Bro. Edwin Choy grouped the 13 into 4 groups and assigned topics for them to study.
In the afternoon, each group was given ample time to use the materials and try conducting the Workshop on their own, followed by a short assessment of each group and their performance. At the end of the day, the trainer assigned each of the 13 with individual topics they need to study in the evening for them to give a 30 minute presentation for the following day.
On June 30, the 13 future trainers, with excitement and care, tried their best to showcase what they have learned the previous day. At the end of each presentation Bro. Edwin Choy and the rest of the group did a group critique session to encourage one another.
The day ended with all trainees feeling confident of the facilitating skills the trainer had imparted on them and excited to bring home the learnings to their individual churches. Bro. Edwin Choy declared that they are now Certified Family Life Coaches.
The last day of the Training Workshop was focused on Father-Child Bonding. The Trainer briefly illuminated on the importance of fathers spending time with their kids and then proceeded to show the trainees how to conduct the said activity. To be able to do this, EFC CDO organized a number of their church members with little children to be present on this day.
The Father-Child Bonding Workshop is divided into 3 activities punctuated by two father-child one-on-one conversations with given topics. Bro. Edwin Choy showed the trainees how to properly facilitate these activities and taught them how to effectively communicate with the participants in processing and drawing out lessons from what they have experienced. The activity ended with a stronger bond from the father-children duos.
The trainees and future ICAN Fathering Workshop Facilitators are further enriched and empowered with the additional knowledge and experience and are thankful to God and to JECPP for the opportunity given them, they are especially thankful to EFC-CDO for their hospitality in hosting the 5-day event. All of them returned to their respective regions and churches ready to promote Godly Fathering and follow the mission given to them to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers.
