The Grace within Vulnerability—Searching God in the Four Corners of the Home
By: Ysabela Dolloso
Seventeen weeks and six nights earlier, I was haphazardly stuffing my valuables into my backpack, eager for morning to arrive when I return home, my family, that I only get to see over every other weekend.
As a full-time university student, my schedule never really allowed for me to take lengthy breaks from school, even when my home was only an hour and a half commute away from the campus, so you could imagine my excitement receiving a memo about class suspension in light of the pandemic.
As a ‘student-dormer’ whom was frequently homesick and sleep-deprived. Who hasn’t dreamed of taking a break from school? To have the chance to rest in the comfort of my own home; away from school and work—‘I mean, that’s the dream, isn’t it?’
After few weeks of oblivion, I was slapped into reality that things will never go back to the way that they once were. Headlines relayed the state of cities, provinces, and even other countries. I felt silly that what mattered to me then were priorities that I now see as trivial compared to what was unfolding to other people. Only vaguely was I aware that the pandemic was, in fact, bigger than I was—bigger than the exams I was yet to take online.
Never did I perceive that families would soon be struggling to keep their businesses afloat, or that poverty-stricken families would further be crippled by the inevitable fall of the economy.
It is indeed during these trying times that we face confusion, and ask difficult questions; ‘Where is God in the middle of this crisis? Where is God in the four corners of my home?’
It is easy to lose sight of God when we are benighted by circumstance. Helpless we feel as we perceived that only close to nothing we could do about it. For most have known the insides of our homes too much, enough to lose contentment; as day passed, they then realized that this is far from the vacation we once asked.
Staying at home didn’t seem so bad until we have no other choice but to wake up, spend the day, and go back to sleep with the same people. Listening to the news, I hear about people losing their jobs, closing down businesses. Then, we hear about cases after cases of infected civilians, and people away from home hindered from returning to each of their homes by fear of contracting the virus.
As worse as it gets, we are put into isolation away and disconnected from everyone.
But, I’d like to think that these vulnerabilities are what connect us to one another. When we are in the position of weakness, we get to look outside of ourselves and empathize with those who have been in the same place as we are. I perceived that what bonds us together is not how often we see each other physically, but how often we feel for each other.
The pandemic exposes many truths about ourselves, our situation, and the world that we live in. More importantly, it reveals God’s immense goodness amidst the panic, pain, and suffering that so many of us are going through. This is exactly the time when we have to keep an eye out for God.
When we feel that we have nothing else to do at home, we start to give in to the lies that are fed to us by the enemy—lies of apathy, injustice, and discord. When the restlessness of the world gets to us, we tend to give in to panic and worry. We start to give in to crosses that have long been put to the grave when Jesus died on His.
So, the next time we try to look for God in the four corners of our home, we start by looking at the faces that we wake up to in the morning. We start by acknowledging that for every door closed during the lockdown, a family was graced with a window to communicate with one another. For every person out of a job, an opportunity is opened even before it is revealed. For every church closed, a new fellowship is opened in every home.
Believe that if we look unto Him, we will see that God has not stopped working for us, with us, and through us.
Even if we are vulnerable to contracting the SARS-CoV-2 virus, the God that we serve is not. We’d do well to know that His strength is perfected in our weaknesses, His grace more augmented in our vulnerabilities.
To end, I do not know where God is exactly or for what purpose this pandemic serves in His great plan; and this is precisely because it is not for me to know. With survival comes the concession that His ways are higher than our ways and that His will precedes ours. To limit His greatness according to our standards would be the most foolish thing that we were ever to do, because in seeking Him, it is one thing to look for God inside the home and another to confine his greatness to its four corners.